i must have released more dopamine than sex? to do that, i think that was better than coke not close to heroine tho? but im competing with hard drugs , but its healthy and free and soon to be very often
i dont take hard drugs so i dont know but to feel like its better than sex, thats fcuked up high level sh,it
Thats a fcuked up thought that no human (unless hes done hard drugs or meditates well) has, no normal person has that thought and means it
u can see why druggies are often just in a room doing fcuk all, they dont need to do fcuk all else, that is the event alone, that is the fun? (im guessing ) obviously sex and partying with drugs is another fun thing
But I can see that everything external could become LESS than doing drugs or meditation itself so you could get to the point where going to a party or going swimming surfing whatever u enjoy is LESS pleasurable or alot less pleasurable than meditation,
But I guess u can take the meditation where ever u go u can do it as u do other stuff , its a skill u can do as u do other stuff so thats probably wrong
Strange how monks etc dont do anything but chores and meditation but maybe thats a different thing
Its a big risk for a killer of success in the external stuff which is concerning, but the external stuff is a bit of a mugs game IF its alot of effort for then an external reward that isnt even as good as meditation in the 1st place.
You can see why they want us to chase the external stuff
I have ppl tune into my blog, either that or im seriously fcuking crazy, evidence is strong for the blog, but its not certain.
Bit of both also
Also just the imagination of someone as an audience is enough to make me enjoy writing stuff also im so alone this is the closest i have to socializing xD, and thers a compulsion to do that
But yea need to fcuking stop , being manipulated into doing it more also
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